TODAY'S NEWS, June 3, 2024

The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow

IN POLITICAL NEWS

t 1) The fallout continues from the announcement of President Trump's conviction on absurd charges. First, his campaign raised a shocking $70 million post-verdict, or more than Rutabaga raised all last month. But wait! According to Eric Trump, that $70 million figures was from under $50 donors alone. Lara Trump told him when all donations were included they were over $200 million in three days. Second, his net approval shot up six points. Trump's pollster, Tony Fabrizio, said in a confidential memo that the conviction had no impact at all on Trump's position in swing states. (I think Fabrizio is wrong: I think soon you will see it helped Trump). Third, Trump attended a UFC fight and every fighter paid homage to raucus cheers of "Trump! Trump! Trump!" as well as an embrace from former critic Aaron Rodgers. Trump said he is prepared to go to jail and said he wasn't losing sleep.

2) Jonathan Turley, who has been right on the law, but not entirely accurate in his predictions of what would happen with the law, says the verdict could be short-lived on appeal. Lawyer Daniel Street thinks Merchan will hand down a sentence of jail time, but will stay the execution of the sentence pending appeal.

3) As part of his "revenge" strategy against the Deep State, President Trump said he would declassify all JFK, 9/11, and Epstein evidence in an effort to restore trust in the government. Folks they are really starting to be terrified at Trump's retribution. Good. Shakespeare said it best: "The villany you teach me I shall execute and it shall be hard, but I will better the instruction." (The Merchant of Venice).

4) No, you read that right. A Republican actually beat the DemoKKKrat in the Puerto Rico governor primary.

5) Pollster John Zogby, a Arab-American DemoKKKrat critic of Rutabaga, claims a Dem "consultant-industrial complex continues to try to remove Rutabaga from the ticket. Ain't gonna happen. And anyone else polls far worse against Trump. Meanwhile, Ohio governor Mike DeWeenie signed a bill allowing Rutabaga on the state's ballot.

6) It is important to admit that Rutabaga, in addition to being demented and a child molester, is a pathological liar. Now he lies saying he drove and 18-wheeler.

7) The Kansas Supreme Court struck down a claim that Kansans have a "fundamental right" to vote, meaning that voter integrity laws can proceed.

8) Girls are getting their periods later and are more irregular than in previous generations. Dunno---vaxxes, processed foods?

IN ILLEGAL CRIMINAL ALIEN NEWS

9) This is the DemoKKKrat civil war #2, as half of all emergency 9/11 calls have no police to respond because Benghazi-by-the-Lake (Chicago) is so deeply in debt, with half its budget going to debt pensions.. Now wait til the other half goes to illegal invaders.

IN CULTURAL NEWS

10) A 900 person Missouri town has been ripped apart by a cop killing a blind and deaf Shih Tzu, forcing the mayor to resign and citizens calling for disbanding the 2-man police force. The owner filed a $1 million lawsuit.

IN TRANSOID NEWS

11) An Idaho bar declared June "Heterosexual Awesomeness Month" with discounts to straight (normal) men.

12) In the Philly Homosexual so-called pride parade, the supporters of the Hamas Murder Pirates and the Pales took over the parade. Cuz, you know, they love them some homosexual transoids so much.

IN ECONOMIC NEWS

13) Price rises in child care are double that of inflation.

14) Rutabaga is targeting natural gas with new regs, which will hurt all Americans.

15) Vermont passed a bill that allows the state to charge oil companies for "climate change." As David Blackmon, the Rush Limbaugh of energy notes, "Maybe it's time to let these bastards freeze in the dark."

16) Boeing enters new territory with a federal probe and possible criminal charges.

17) A restaurant apocalypse is spreading across the U.S.---Red Lobster, Boston Market, even Cracker Barrel---and it won't get better as last year's trend, where Americans dropped their habit of eating out declined by 5%, is continuing. Just the latest: Rubios is closing 56 locations in Kollyfornia due to ridiculous wages. Food prices and high minimum wages are the culprits everywhere. Learn to cook, peeps. Learn to cook.

18) New car systems that have electronic and automatic driver aids on steriods have forced insurance companies to declare 20% of all crashed cars as "totaled." Anyone remember when you could fix most things on your car yourself?

IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS

19) Japan's former interior minister apologized to all of the un-vaxxed citizens, saying "You were right."

20) China's Chang-6 probe finally landed on the moon, meaning that 55 years after Americans walked on the moon no other worldly power has managed to do so.

21) England can't deal with real problems so they are re-arguing a 50 year old murder by Lord Lucan.

22) Planet of the apes, as a Thai town is raided by maurading monkeys.

IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

23) The National Association of Broadcasters reversed itself and will not give the Raging Bullsh**ter Robert De Niro a prestigious award.

24) Neither females nor da youts are going to see girl-boss movies, even if, like "Furiousa," the girl isn't really a girl boss. Marketing didn't help. They can stop superimposing the "Barbie" experience, which was NOT a "girl boss movie" but a comedy, on action flicks.